you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
love makes seman taste better
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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