The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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