you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
