They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
