i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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