i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They took my balls.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
