Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
