she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
