ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
