well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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