There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I believe in your delicious
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
