Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
worst night to have a conscience
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize