i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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