12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
