Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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