she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
