***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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