Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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