Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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