scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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