I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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