Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Randomize
