i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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