Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
