That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
