He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
