Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
