they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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