I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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