Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize