one two three fourrrrnication!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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