whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
