he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
