You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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