wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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