i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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