tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
