Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
