Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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