Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
