then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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