chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize