He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
