I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
