i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
