you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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