I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
