you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
