youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
