im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
