I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
