I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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