it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
