I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
