Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
