my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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