that's an acceptable place to lick
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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