SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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