Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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