I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize