Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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