how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He passed out mid-signature
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
